Tags: addiction

moon

New Washer

We've been waiting for the old washer to die. It screams so loudly you'd think it would just stop, but it hasn't, and we bought a new washer today. The husband wanted to go back to the old school with agitator and other bells and whistles. I had no objections. The "old" washer was only five years old, a prime example of planned obsolesence. The repairman, my nephew, said use it till it dies and be sure to replace it with a Maytag/Whirpool product. But we couldn't stand the screaming. And, I survived, going to Lowe's (yay me) which leads me into the 2nd thing I wanted to record so I will remember it.

After being prescribed Tramadol for the pain in my lower back, I waited an entire year to even try it. After all the trouble I've witnessed and experienced with prescription drug addictions, I did not want to add another to my list. But the pain was great and there were things I wanted to do that required standing up so I tried one. Got some relief and no awful side effects. The thought of dependency concerns me greatly. Doctors hand out meds like candy. But, they can be so damaging.

I think perhaps none of this matters when put in relation to my life expectancy. The next washer might outlive me. Nearing that big 70 birthday in the next few weeks, I am thinking, wow man, that is really O L D. I think I'll get busy at something.

Autumn with her stark clothes of brown and yellow comes
I get melancholy for a while

Off to fold laundry
moon

The Beat Goes On






Now down to 3.75 mg of valium,. Yesterday got hit with some major withdrawal symptoms and spent a lot of time sleeping or wrapped up in a blanket shivering.  About 48 hrs after a cut, the symptoms appear in their various forms, different every time. 

 
While going through this it is some times difficult to believe that I have made the right decision, but it is too late to stop now as I am so close to the end. 

Unbelievable what this drug can do to you.  I have stopped making jewelry, sort of left my Etsy shops to rot as it were, and can't seem to plan anything or want to do anything at all.  Yep I'm depressed!!

I simply must continue to have faith that I am in a process of healing and that it is unimportant that I accomplish anything during this challenging period of my life.  For an overachiever like me, that's  hard pill to swallow (no pun intended LOL)... but I intend to get through this and I intend to reinvent myself on the other side as stronger, more competent, and more creative than I have ever been before.

I continue to read stories of other folks who have gone down this path and can see that I am blessed in so many ways..

I don't have a job and can lie down when I need to..
My symptoms aren't any where near as desperate as many others are experiencing.
I have a super strong immune system and know that my body is healing every day.
My family love and supports me.
And I appreciate all my blessings, yes indeed I surely do!!