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I keep trying to write, but my anxiety levels are so high my mind is just too paralyzed to function.

Why? You might wonder. Overreaction to life situations I will answer.

A night in the ER with Anah whose last muscle spasm was seizure-like and now has her on the path of neurological exploration. All the docs are fairly certain, it's a pain/stress related reaction, but a sleep deprived EEG is scheduled next week. I worry too much.

My brother taken by ambulance to the hospital in the city with s septic bone in his hand. Surgery today. He has suffered so much. I cry a lot.

The last three mornings raccoons have dug up most of the plants I have in pots outside. I pick up the pieces and replant. Today we have an attack plan, ammonia and epsom salts to repel the bastards. I'm really angry.

The heat and drought continue. I despair of garden success. And no matter how much insect repellant I apply, the chiggers are merciless. I itch.

And reading this entry I see why I haven't written. Really now, who wants to read this litany of "oh woe is me." My overreaction disgusts me. 

But I will kick myself in the ass, pack my suitcase and leave for Colorado on Friday. I can do it, yes I can. And I will reset myself and come home renewed.

Anah's test will be negative. My brother will live or if he must he will die.

Soon, I'll breathe easy again.

Comments

kabuldur
Jun. 15th, 2018 11:29 am (UTC)
Aagh! I didn't know about Anah or your brother.

Glad Anah is much recovered.

About your brother: sounds like you'd better ring him directly. You won't get much out of the hospital staff.

Yes, go on your holiday anyway. You deserve a break!
rosegardenfae
Jun. 15th, 2018 12:59 pm (UTC)
I did get in touch with my brother directly and he was doing ok.

I'm tired but eager for a change of scenery, trying to pack, have to fig out warmer clothes that I had already put away. But I will persevere! And things will look a lot better from a distance.

kabuldur
Jun. 16th, 2018 09:55 am (UTC)
Yep, best to talk to your brother directly and I'm glad he is doing okay.

Ha! I was tired when I went away, but it was SO worth it! A break away will do you good :)

And yep, things will look a lot better when put in perspective, and only time will do that! Plus a break away will take your mind off things and stop you worrying so much.

(((Hugs)))

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