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Things Change

Today I talked to the third old friend in out every other Wednesday lunch group. Ingrid and I had more than broadly hinted to each other that we were ready for a break. We've been doing this for at least 2 maybe 3 years ( too lazy to research that), and though our reasons are slightly different, we want a change. Neither of us like being tied down to a rigid schedule. Understandably, Nikki still works, so requires advance notice. Ingrid and I were old school moms and our lives have been blessedly free of career constraints. I offer this information to underline our main point of agreement, that we want lunch to be spontaneous. We are not liking the obligatory feelings that a rigid schedule stirs up. Once it was out in the open that we do agree (why was it so hard to discuss?)and knowing that Ingrid does not like phones, I volunteered to call Nikki.

I think she felt it was coming. She reassured me that all is well and that she will go back to working on Wednesday. Now all that's left to do is call Ingrid and tell her we all agree that it's  time to let it go for a while. No doubt there are deeper implications and complication,  but I'm trying to keep it simple.

Sad, but a relief.

Kids are leaving this afternoon for Dallas, i.e. Erin and her two. Going to see Eryka Badu in concert, visit Cousin Monica and her son, Gabe and hopefully eat good food and enjoy time away. Erin has been working long hours plus studying for her NP degree, and being single mom to 2 teens. A road trip will, I hope clear her head.

We had more rain last night which plummeting tempss morphed into a shiny glaze on everything. Should be melted in a hour or so- already, dripping. School cancellation offered the kids an earlier start than planned. Rain predicted through the weekend. Though I'm getting kind of tired of being inside, am super grateful for the rain.

Next weekend Tracy and I have reservations at The Elms, our annual spa getaway. Totally looking forward to that trip, especially the facial after which for about an hour I look 10 years younger. Lol


( 29 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 22nd, 2018 06:15 pm (UTC)
It's smart to put things like that out on the table, and I hope Nikki doesn't take it personally (she probably won't if you explained it to her the way you did here! Very valid and understandable reasons).

Have a GREAT time at the Badu concert :D I saw her about six years ago--she blew me away. I elbowed my way right to the front and she looked right at me once or twice and honestly, I felt blessed :D

Edited at 2018-02-22 06:15 pm (UTC)
Feb. 23rd, 2018 11:27 am (UTC)
I also hope that she doesn't, but it's hard to tell with her. I have this feeling that we probably won't see each other for a while after this bit of a break up so time will tell.

I'm not going to the concert as I didn't go to Dallas LOL, just Erin and the two teenagers Plus my niece at her teenage son, but I know they will have a great time. They are more familiar with that music than I am, though I have listened to her a few times when I've been in the car with Erin. It's such a great experience when you feel as if you've caught the eye of a performer. I know that any number of times when I went to see the dead that Jerry looked right at me.
Feb. 23rd, 2018 01:58 pm (UTC)
Jerry Garcia!! Looked!! At you!! *explodes* So cool >:>

Feb. 23rd, 2018 02:26 pm (UTC)
I melted...lol
Feb. 23rd, 2018 06:13 pm (UTC)
I believe it! :D
Feb. 22nd, 2018 08:47 pm (UTC)
Nice to hear that you have something relaxing and restorative to look forward to on the coming weekend. Also that Erin will be getting a break from "the grind" with a change of scenery. Hopefully, as you say, she'll be able to relax and enjoy it.

Had 71-degree temps here, earlier in the week, and about an inch of snow on the ground this morning! Also drove to Liverpool this AM for the book club discussion of "Swing Time." Almost everyone felt it was a problematic read, as did I, but some interesting comments were made and a few laughs were had over Smith's ironic humor.

After my record-time, first reading of it, I was gonna re-read the whole thing but only made it 100 pages in by this morning and feel inclined to put it aside for something more readily engaging.

Hope you have a good week and a fun weekend...L
Feb. 23rd, 2018 11:24 am (UTC)
I really need to "get away" for a bit and am excited to spend time with just Tracy.

Hope the next book is a really great one and that you find something entertaining in the meantime.

I just finished another in the Ian Rutledge series and I'm trying to decide whether to continue and finish the series or move on to "Everyone Brave Is Forgiven", a love story that takes place in Britain during the years of the Blitz.

At this point the weekend looks rather dreary and carries the possibility of boredom and not getting out of the house, but I'm going to give it my best shot to make it a good one and hope that yours is peaceful and pleasant.
Feb. 23rd, 2018 03:00 pm (UTC)
Not sure what the next club selection is but have read "Everyone Brave" during the past year and remember it as a good read but not much else about it--which, let me hasten to add, is a function of my declining mental acuities, not a criticism of the book, lol.

Jason has a non-league soccer game tonight, the purpose of which is to evaluate and select players for the upcoming State Cup playoffs. He's actually been invited to play on SC teams in the past but has turned them down, a source of great consternation and worry to his grandfather. BUT, at least this game will get HIM out on the field and ME out of the house, which I need as well.

Hope you have a better, livelier, more fun-filled weekend than presently forecast. I'll be thinking of you, m'dear, and trying for the same...L
Feb. 23rd, 2018 03:09 pm (UTC)
Enjoy the game. Even though the weather is crummy I think I may get out and take some more pics of tumbledown buildings to draw.

Don't feel like the lone stranger LOL I don't retain anything I read either, but I guess I really have no reason to. It's just something to keep my mind occupied until the weather gets nice enough to go outside. As the song goes, you are always on my mind, and I'm hoping you get excited at the game.
Feb. 22nd, 2018 10:17 pm (UTC)
All good things much come to an end and who knows, after a break, you might want to start it up again.
Feb. 23rd, 2018 11:15 am (UTC)
Agreed, a break often gives things fresh perspective.
Feb. 23rd, 2018 12:41 pm (UTC)
I was just telling a friend who was struggling with her writing this. It's a little scary when the words don't come, but it's usually just a sign that you need to give it a bit of a rest.

Feb. 23rd, 2018 12:17 am (UTC)
The women's group I used to belong to (we met weekly for at least 15 years) died a few years ago. I was really sad to see it go at the time but now I've gotten used to it and I just meet with the old members individually - some regularly and others on the spur of the moment. Now I enjoy these one to one meetings much better than when it was a group.

When one door closes, another opens...
Feb. 23rd, 2018 11:13 am (UTC)
It is so good to hear this. I think a shift in the dynamics is exactly what we need. I am much more comfortable with one on one.

Edited at 2018-02-23 11:14 am (UTC)
Feb. 23rd, 2018 05:50 am (UTC)
When something stops being fun and starts feeling like an obligation, it's time to let it go or find a way to get paid for it!
Feb. 23rd, 2018 11:11 am (UTC)
Words of wisdom, thank you.
Feb. 23rd, 2018 10:39 am (UTC)
Sounds like you have all moved on, so it's for the best.

That would be the perfect getaway!

Edited at 2018-02-23 10:40 am (UTC)
Feb. 23rd, 2018 11:10 am (UTC)
I'm definitely excited about the spa trip, we always have fun doing nothing.

Edited at 2018-02-23 11:10 am (UTC)
Feb. 23rd, 2018 11:11 am (UTC)
Nothing like a break!
Feb. 23rd, 2018 12:21 pm (UTC)
Good idea to lay everything on the table. Most of us really do not like rigid schedules and enjoy things spontaneous at times.

Hope the kids have a good time.

And you do at the spa!

Feb. 23rd, 2018 12:32 pm (UTC)
I tend to be too outspoken (could be because I'm a double Sagittarius). It seems to me that far too often we humans are reluctant/afraid to "lay our cards on the table" and we end up living a life of pretense behind a mask of complacency. That is tiring.

Would that every one of us could have more good times!
Feb. 23rd, 2018 02:33 pm (UTC)
Enjoy your spa time! :-)
Feb. 23rd, 2018 03:11 pm (UTC)
Ty, I am so ready for it!
Feb. 23rd, 2018 03:27 pm (UTC)
Randomly commenting, but I hope you don’t mind that I added you as a friend on this!! I haven’t updated my LJ in years, but miss it deeply.

Anyway, sometimes it’s good to let things go. Different times are different people. Hopefully Nikki takes well to that!

My name’s Kate by the way... and enjoy your spa time!
Feb. 23rd, 2018 04:58 pm (UTC)
Hello Kate, nice to have you as a new friend. There have certainly been long breaks in between postings on my own journal so I get that. The thing I like about LJ is the sense of community I get here. Hope to get to know you better and you know I am going to have a good time at the spa girl.
Feb. 24th, 2018 01:31 am (UTC)
It is difficult to commit to scheduled outings and who needs the stress anymore? I think you did the right thing, and in such a nice way that nobody's feelings were hurt.
Feb. 24th, 2018 12:28 pm (UTC)
Right, there's enough stress in just living, adding more is not wise. I sure hope no one's hurt, it is difficult to tell with some people. I wear my heart on my sleeve but the others, not so much. Three is such a challenging dynamic.
Feb. 24th, 2018 05:26 am (UTC)
When a social outing becomes a chore... yeah, time to rethink and take a break.

Hope everyone has a good time on the trip and at the concert.

The getaway sounds lovely, and well deserved. A facial... always an ah isn't it?
Feb. 24th, 2018 12:22 pm (UTC)
It had become a chore. Many things have, it's nice to have suppott in my decision.

Good description of a facial....aaahhh
( 29 comments — Leave a comment )



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