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Yesterday

The local hospital called to tell me my brother had asked them to call to let me know he was in the ER. They said only he was very sick. Rushed over to find him barely able to talk and looking awful. In a few moments the doctor came in and told me that my brother had a perforated bowel and needed emergency surgery. No determinations till they got him opened up and took a look around.

Five hours later he's out of surgery with a brand new colostomy, but thankfully only air released into the abdominal cavity so less risk of infection. Last night totally out if it, this morning sitting up and talking. This afternoon out of his head because no one bothered to check his med list so he's detoxing off a bunch of head meds while in taking a HUGE load of opiates.

Who knows what comes next? Medically he's doing well, psychologically not well at all.

So much can still go wrong. And even if it goes well, how can he manage a colostomy when his hands are so crippled by arthritis he can't even tie his shoes?

Only months ago he had two toes amputated, two weeks ago he fell in the snow and has yet to recover from the frostbite.

His kids think he can go back home and live alone as he has for the 6 years since his wife died. I'm not convinced.

So, waiting, wondering, wanting what's best but not sure what is.

Sad, tired, stressed, I might just need to cry.


Comments

( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
vixenofflames
Feb. 1st, 2018 02:17 am (UTC)
Wow, that sounds really scary, and tough. *hugs*
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 11:52 am (UTC)

Hugs appreciated, it's an awful situation.

siglinde99
Feb. 1st, 2018 02:51 am (UTC)
Wow - that is a lot of scary stuff and I completely understand the stress. I hope he continues to recover.
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 11:53 am (UTC)

Thanks.

veganhothead
Feb. 1st, 2018 03:38 am (UTC)
Oh no, your brother has been through a lot. Healing vibes to you both
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 11:53 am (UTC)

Bring on the good vibes.  We need 'em.

gracegiver
Feb. 1st, 2018 03:57 am (UTC)
Oh ... man! Poor guy. Poor sis!
Are you the only sibling? Does he have health insurance?

This is heart-wrenching and I'm so sorry for you AND him. I probably be like ... "just shoot me now."
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 11:59 am (UTC)

I am the only sibling, older by 5 yrs. He has two children, only one lives here.


He has been in bad health and on disability a number of years and while many of his problems are self induced, still no one deserves this.


Like you, I'd be ready to opt out. I don't think he yet realizes the enormity of the situation. Early days yet.

amethyst_witch
Feb. 1st, 2018 04:30 am (UTC)
Im so sorry this is happening. He is definitely in my prayers <3 you both are
*hugs*

And there is nothing wrong with a good cry. Sometimes it even helps a little <3
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 11:59 am (UTC)

Thanks sweetie.

lifeinroseland
Feb. 1st, 2018 04:44 am (UTC)
Aw. I’m sorry. Do cry whenever you feel it. Let it out even if it’s in front of him, it might even help him let out some of it too. I’m sorry xoxoxo
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 12:03 pm (UTC)

I'm trying to keep it together since I am the nominal head of the family, but it will come. Stress tends to manifest in my body making me pretty useless. Ah well such is life.

ladyblue56
Feb. 1st, 2018 11:49 am (UTC)
Good grief, wow! I'm sorry to hear he has been having problems and then to top it off w. having to have a colostomy. I hope the hospital can get the meds working so he regains himself psychologically.

Definitely stressful and a worry for you. Hugs.
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 12:08 pm (UTC)

Thanks for the hug. Hospitals, doctors...drive me nuts. You cannot cold turkey off those kind of meds, but on the other hand since he is can't  have anything by mouth and some drugs aren't available IV, what can you do?And I know that you know what stress does for fibro so I'm rapidly falling apart.


Wondering why so much of life is spent between a rock and a hard place.

spikesgirl58
Feb. 1st, 2018 01:05 pm (UTC)
I agree with you. It sounds like he needs to get into an assisted living place. His kids needs to realize that Dad needs help with stuff. *hugs* You can have my shoulder to cry on if it will help.
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 01:09 pm (UTC)
Aw thanks, i may have to take you up on that shoulder. I'm just so damned tired of taking care of so many people and then finding that I have nowhere to fall and no one to catch me.
spikesgirl58
Feb. 1st, 2018 04:27 pm (UTC)
No worries - that's what friends are for.

*hugs* you are a good person to be so loving and giving.
letmesaythis
Feb. 1st, 2018 02:06 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry your brother and you are going through this. It's probably time to sound the alarm with his children--time for a wake-up call. Some children (me, for example) stick their heads in the sand when it comes to their aging parents and sometimes need to hear it loudly, plainly and repeatedly before it sinks in. I hope he somehow does better than you're anticipating!
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 02:28 pm (UTC)
Like most family dynamics its complicated. At least this morning he's lucid again. My BFF works there so I get updates from her which is hepful. The kids are not being realistic imho and their relationship hasn't been the best either. Time will tell eh?
susandennis
Feb. 1st, 2018 03:03 pm (UTC)
oh wow on this whole thing. good to hear you have an inside track. families. yep, time will tell for sure. here's hoping the tell is better news.
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 03:21 pm (UTC)
Yeah. Families. Got to say I think about you when mine gets heavy. I could use some alone time.
mallorys_camera
Feb. 1st, 2018 06:15 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry that your brother is ill!

I think both Medicaid and Medicare will pay for home caregivers who should be able to assist your brother with his colostomy bag care. If he and the other members of your family decide going home is the best course of action is to do that. Although it doesn't sound as if that is the best course of action.

I'm sending you all good thoughts.
rosegardenfae
Feb. 1st, 2018 11:38 pm (UTC)
Good thoughts truly appreciated.

Got him hooked up with Home Health today. They will even order his supplies.

They come 3 times a week, what happens the other 4 days is disconcerting.
tilia_tomentosa
Feb. 3rd, 2018 12:19 am (UTC)
Ouch, I can only wish you both good luck. *hugs
rosegardenfae
Feb. 4th, 2018 12:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
njlorelei
Feb. 8th, 2018 08:53 pm (UTC)
So sorry to read about your brother. I hope he is doing better and that you and his kids and anyone else involved are figuring out what is needed for him to get through this. Remember to take care of yourself too. Hugs!
rosegardenfae
Feb. 9th, 2018 12:55 am (UTC)
It's been a rollercoaster for sure. Thanks for your well wishes. Home Health has been a real blessing. I've been resting a lot.



( 27 comments — Leave a comment )

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