?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Stuck in a Nightmare

Maybe it was foreshadowing, the death of the little dog that lived up the road. Seems like he'd always been there in front of the house where he lived, watching from the yard all the many times I'd drive by. Like me he grew old. I guess he got slow, may be deaf. Saturday morning he died under the wheels of a car. Daughter #2 saw it happen and brought the news in with her.  Oh how sad we felt.

But life moved forward and we were planning a bonfire. I had just finished the chili and the men had lit the fire when the call came. My granddaughter, Anah's close friend committed suicide. His name was Eli.  He was 14. He used a gun.

He was an outstanding student, brilliant even, well liked. But home was not a good place, no parental guidance. He was missing all night and no one looked for him.

My beloved Anah fell to her knees. Her disbelief, her grief and loss engulfed her like a flame. Her first loss. She knew he was troubled, she tried so hard to save him from the darkness. She brought him here to the farm where they ran around exploring in the way of kids.  She hugged him every day at school. Oh course it wasn't enough and her feelings of failure  pierced my heart.

Today will be the first day back to school. The freshman class is wearing red bandanas in Eli's memory.  It was his trademark. Today will be hard.  Though I know Anah must go through this, I weep for her pain and for the pain of his other friends, kids forever changed by this event. Children no more, thrust into a maelstrom of feelings an adult would find hard to handle.

What kind of world do we live in where a 14 year child can find no Hope?

Goodbye Eli, may you be at peace.

Comments

ahdedahl
Nov. 7th, 2017 11:30 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for the loss. I remember I was 15 when I tried to take my life, and would never wish the pain that led to that attempt on anyone. I wish you and all around you strength and understanding, and hope there can at least be solace found in happy memories, and hearts mended in the love and unity it takes to go through the grieving process.
rosegardenfae
Nov. 7th, 2017 11:52 am (UTC)
I never realized how many others have thought or tried to take their life as I also have done.

Thank you for your kind and loving thoughts. We are a close family and have drawn together even closer to help the healing of our hearts.

Profile

moon
rosegardenfae
rosegardenfae

Latest Month

June 2019
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      

Tags

Page Summary

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by yoksel