rosegardenfae (rosegardenfae) wrote,
rosegardenfae
rosegardenfae

Thoughts Before Sleep



Last night was unpleasant, littered with nightmares that woke me and left me trembling, sweaty and fearful. I'm hesitant to go to bed in case there might be a repeat performance. Could be the fallout from sadness about the Vegas tragedy and Tom Petty's death that brought all that on? Could be the withdrawal, it wreaks havoc on sleep.

When I have night like that, the morning seems to hold on to the unease of the hours before and I feel groggy, tired, and unmotivated. Thus, this morning I did nothing much and finally decided that taking a nap might wash away the leftover feelings. I wrapped myself in my most comfy blanket and nodded out on the couch and awoke with a much better attitude.

Put away my laundry, cleaned out the fridge, and picked quite a few tomatoes, most of them from a volunteer plant in the garden down by the barn. They are a lovely orange fruit. We don't remember planting anything like that last year so perhaps they come from a yellow bonded with a red? Who knows? Glad to have them as it's quite late for tomatoes here and a friend recently requested a tomato pie and now I've enough tomatoes to make her one for her birthday.

Worked on the sweater some more. It's coming along nicely. I am reminded that I forgot to look to see if I have another size 7 circular as I have to split the back in two sections to make room for a medallion in the middle so am going to need a second needle.


I'm rereading "Mrs. Dalloway." After doing some research and reading a lot of reviews of the book, I want to read it more critically. I'm even taking notes. I had forgotten that the movie, "The Hours" is based on the book. Now I want to rewatch it too. The language is so lovely that it is like a poem really with characters displayed in a series of vignettes all set within a single day whose pace is marked by the clocks and church bells that note the time in London. More on this later, I'm getting sleepy.

It would be a shame to waste these moments when I feel so alive and so me once again so I won't lie down yet. I just started yet another British mystery series which is set in the same time and place as "Mrs. Dalloway," post WWI Britain and follows the career of one Inspector Ian Rutledge, a shell shocked veteran who works for Scotland Yard. I will read until "night closes these tired eyes."

Tags: benzowithdrawal, british mysteries, gardening, ian rutledge, mrs. dalloway, nightmares, sleep, tomatoes, xanax
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