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October - wow


"Time keeps on slipping..." and I slip with it, lately stumbling a lot and trying not to fall into the arms of depression beckoning me to just give in, give up. Feeling the effects of the med cuts in both physical and emotional ways. I was so lucky at the beginning, and then WHAM the last week sucked. Didn't help that I had a number of commitments or that my brother chose this week to have his own come apart and wanted me to help him glue himself back together.

So, I bumped my dose back up a bit, hopeful that will soon make a difference. While I sit here wrapped in misery, the green beans beg to be picked, and the succulents must either be repotted and brought in or left out to die.

Friday saw me in the park walking, exercise being a good mood elevator. Though no one could see, my mind was trapped in a panic attack and finally I was back at the car where I sat till I could drive.

Anah has been here all weekend and for her,  I can dig through my collection of masks and put on the smiley grandma one and conceal the inner turmoil. I am grateful for her presence.

My mind wanders. It's hard to write. I'm very tired, but Anah and I are making an apple pie soon and I'll do that no matter what because it's for her.



Comments

olbuksings
Oct. 1st, 2017 04:59 pm (UTC)
On the other hand, I've sometimes felt that total immersion in a heavy, literary classic is just the thing to affect a positive mood change. No, really. Like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF0VaBxb27w
rosegardenfae
Oct. 1st, 2017 09:16 pm (UTC)

Oh Heathcliffe, you do know how to make a girl's day more shiny.
Love,
Cathy



Edited at 2017-10-01 09:31 pm (UTC)
olbuksings
Oct. 5th, 2017 02:13 am (UTC)
Dang, E! It would make MY day more shiny if I'd ever looked like THAT, lol

Edited at 2017-10-05 02:15 am (UTC)

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