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End of the Season Ratatouille

As this year's gardening season comes to a close and with the need to use up a variety of veggies, I was able to throw together a pot of ratatouille. I missed cutting the eggplants at their prime because the med withdrawal was kicking my butt, and have my fingers crossed that the ones I used are not bitter as over mature eggplant can be. I'm looking forward to lunch with some crusty French bread and a bowl of this silky stew.

The husband brought in the last of the onion harvest and I cleaned thise off, finding a few spoiled ones, but not many. This year did not give us huge onions, but they are very sweet.

Tomorrow is the annual Pow-Wow that my oldest daughter and her family manage. I'm not certain what my job will be and truly am not looking forward to it as my brain and CNS are very sensitive right now, but I'll do my best.

This week has been a hard one for me as I  go through the changes withdrawal produces. There has been pain, depression, nausea, and anxiety. Yet, I know nothing lasts forever and this morning I woke up feeling pretty darned good.

Why am going through this? A number of reasons come to mind. Meds of this type eventually create more anxiety than they fix. Memory loss and cognitive functions become weakened. Aging kidneys can no longer clear the crap meds, especially generic ones contain thus use holds risk of renal failure. Besides if your dose isn't constantly being raised, you are always in tolerance withdrawal. And as with any addiction, if you run out there is a high price. I once ended up in the ER having a seizure because I ran out.

How did I end up back in the same situation as I was 10 years ago, the first time I quit Xanax? Bad choices. My beloved sister in law was dying and my brother was hospitalized at the same time from electrical shock. A well meaning friend who is a nurse handed me a pill. I was desperate. I was afraid. I had unending heart palpitations. I wanted relief. I was weak, took the offer. Insanity.

The statistics are appalling on the number of people taking "head meds". Some take 2, 3, or more. Now these drugs are in our water supply. No wonder the world's  fucked up.

On a brighter note, the day is lovely. I'm going outside and work up an appetite for some ratatouille.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 8th, 2017 05:46 pm (UTC)
Dang, E, the handle you have on the prescription med problem is impressive. But your ability to persevere, through all of this, is even more so. Wishing you the success you surely deserve... L
Sep. 8th, 2017 09:18 pm (UTC)
Oh L, I appreciate the props and well wishes. Our chats keep me grounded. Thanks for being around. E
Sep. 8th, 2017 05:55 pm (UTC)
Damn, I feel you. Coming off anti-depressants was hell for me too. And my doctors were extremely unhelpful. I'm also having a not great time working the sleep drugs out of my system after 10+ years. I found crying very therapeutic.

Sending some soothing vibes your way.
Sep. 8th, 2017 09:14 pm (UTC)
Thanks sweetie. Only someone who's been through it can truly understand what a hellish journey it is. I came off antidepressants in 07. Docs seem to only want to give out more pills.

Good luck on the sleep meds. I know they are hard to kick. Ambien? My daughter's BFF is trying to get off that one. She put on a ton of weight because she was eating at night but had no memory of it.

But some day we'll be through it. If it wasn't for herb, I'd be in much worse shape. I'm more likely to scream than cry, but at least I live in the country.

Appreciation for those healing vibes, good medicine.

Sep. 8th, 2017 09:26 pm (UTC)
Oh, that looks like seven kinds of yum to me!

*Hugs* and good luck with getting that med out of your system. You are such a strong person to even try and make the break. Fingers crossed that all goes in your favor and you are over the crap soon.
Sep. 8th, 2017 09:28 pm (UTC)
Oh girl, it was really good.

Thanks for the hugs, much appreciated as well as the good energy.
Sep. 9th, 2017 01:46 pm (UTC)
Just keep staying strong!
Sep. 10th, 2017 12:04 am (UTC)
Love your onions. :)

Good luck with coming off that med!
Sep. 11th, 2017 12:09 pm (UTC)
They are really sweet onions too! Thanks for the luck, I can certainly use it.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )



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