Two of my other daughters were gone on vacations over the last few days which resulted in a couple of free days for little old me. I have knitted, read, watched movies, enjoyed myself for the most part. I say for the most part because today I experienced the mother of all anxiety attacks. Youngest daughter and granddaughter traveling with partner are headed back to Missouri today and I tried to reach her by phone and got no answer via txt or by calling. Whoosh I am transported to a screaming weeping piece of flesh in a heartbeat. The scenarios that flashed thru my head I shall not mention but all of them were quite ugly. I finally reached her partner by phone and once I had established that all is well with my loved ones, I was fine. Well, fine except for the energy expended to get that damned upset.
I weary of anxiety issues. I exercise, eat well, meditate, do yoga, prayer, chant and work with LOA. Yet, the anxiety shows up. I can lay it at the feet of the stress created by the other daughter's pain and drama. I held up well for the two weeks in which she really needed me. Then it seems I fell apart. I am more than pissed! I have been medication free for a year and half now. I know I am still healing. I intend to be patient.
My hubs was nice and I appreciate his words. He told me that anyone who has been thru the things I have experienced in life would no doubt have some anxiety issues. And yeah I can see that. I find progress in seeing that I am not beating myself up for getting anxious. I intend to go back outside and walk around and look at the flowers and remember to love myself not matter what.