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Smile for Today

 

 
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational asked readers
to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners.
Each is an artificial word with only
one letter altered to form a real word.
Some are terrifically innovative:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.


2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.


3. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.


4.
Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.


5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.


6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.


7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.


9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.
)

10.
Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off really
bad vibes. Then, the earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.


11.
Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.


12. Glibido: All talk and no action.


13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.


14.
Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.


15.
Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.


16.
Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.


And the pick of the lot:

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

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