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Med Cut Day 5--Garlic Scapes

Having noticed that I was feeling over sedated and wanting to sleep all the time, the evidence of those feelings pointed to Xanax, a nasty little prescription drug to which I am addicted. I swear it fucks me up worse than all the LSD I did in the "days of yore," the summers of love and all those Grateful Dead Shows.

For anyone who has not read my past experiences with this drug, they are recorded in my LJ, though not as detailed as I might have liked. I quit once. The withdrawal experience was truly horrific.  I stayed off until my brother and sil were in the hospital at the same time. She was dying. He had been electrocuted. Nightmare stuff. And my friend, the nurse, says go ahead take one. She takes  them at night to sleep. They stopped my heart palpitations and a number of other neurological symptoms. I felt do much better that I started taking them regularly again.

And life, as it will, has run another circle and I'd sure like to cut back. This older body I now inhabit is much more sensitive to chemical concoctions and I really don't want to spend my later years sleeping, mumbling or stumbling - so back to square one. Began with simply removing .5 mg of a 3.0 per day dose. Had a number of physical sx's, increased sensitivity to outside stimuli, pain, and anxiety, but nothing really bad. Translate that into I didn't cry, I didn't puke and I functioned among other human beings, even attended a small local concert at Moberly's famous, "Railroad Days." One of the daughters is seeing the bass guitarist of the band and so I wanted to see him play. OMG it was so loud and what I would call Heavy Metal, head banging music. I do not like that Sam I am. I stayed maybe 30 minutes, but did have some awesome hugs from sisters I hadn't seen in a long time. It's good to stay hidden. People really get excited to see you when it's only once a year.

Another week or so I should be back to my norm. Ready and awake to go see Ziggy in Wisconsin.

Finding myself thinking, I should never have listened to that psychiatrist all those years ago. But I did. I shall refrain from mounting my soapbox and ranting about Big Pharma.

Enough of that, it's going well, really.

Roasting beets today, a couple of thinnings have given us enough to satisfy all eaters. Used the beet tops in a sautee with onions, and garlic scapes. The scapes were a gift to my daughter from a coworker. They have delightful flavor and can be used in place of garlic and they are pretty, oh and they were free!

Also throwing some scapes in with the green beans.

There is rice and meat in the fridge so I'm good to go if hungry folks arrive.

Wow it just starting raining again, big fat drops, glad I got the produce picked early today.

Yesterday I set out all the basil starts I had in the garden shed, some went to the main, garden some to a pot and others in a raised bed. They will like this rain.

For a day that got off to a grumpy, weary start, this one has turned into a beautiful day, punctuated by great news from an online friend, and a email whose subject was , "I still love you."

Rains over now, I think I'll knit.

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
veganhothead
Jun. 20th, 2017 12:20 am (UTC)
Mmm! Garlic scapes are yum!

Ugh, I'm trying to get off Lorepam which I've needed to sleep for over ten years. I was up to 2.5 mg and I've tapered off over a long period and now I'm at .5. It's very hard getting drugs out of your system so you have my sympathy.

Oooh, LSD and Grateful Dead stories? I've never done LSD because of the horror stories though part of me still wants to.
rosegardenfae
Jun. 20th, 2017 11:39 am (UTC)
Lorazepam is a benzo, same as Xanax, its really good to have understanding from someone who knows. My first cut was more than the recommended 10% and if I decide to drop more I'll have to go slower.

I have many stories from the days on tour, sex, drugs snd tock and roll. Lol LSD gave me a lot of insights and fueled a lot of good times, but that was in the late 60's-early 70's when drugs were clean, no idea what it might be like these days.
siglinde99
Jun. 20th, 2017 01:13 am (UTC)
I hope that you are able to cut down on the Xanax without too many horrible symptoms. Taking medications other than antibiotics always scares me.
rosegardenfae
Jun. 20th, 2017 11:42 am (UTC)
You are right to be scared. There are many meds that are very hard to quit, but the docs never tell you either the side effects or that you have to take it for the rest of your life.
spikesgirl58
Jun. 20th, 2017 11:02 am (UTC)
Wow, I admire your strength - good luck with cutting yourself back. That has to be so hard.

Your veggies look and sound yummy. It's so hot here, I'm down to ten minute stir fries and cold soup.
rosegardenfae
Jun. 20th, 2017 11:56 am (UTC)
Thanks, I need all the luck I can get on this one. It's unbelievable how many people are strung out on legal drugs. Docs just hand them out like candy. Grrr it just makes me so angry.

We're having a coolish week so I cooked, next week will be different.b
spikesgirl58
Jun. 20th, 2017 03:59 pm (UTC)
It is a point of irritation for me as well. Docs are too quick to shove a pill down your throat as opposed to really dealing with the issue. We have one here that is referred to as Doc in a Box because he will give you whatever pill you request, no questions asked. I don't know how he keeps his license.

I hope next week will be different here. We could do with some cooler weather.
rosegardenfae
Jun. 20th, 2017 08:24 pm (UTC)
LMFAO @doc in a box...that is some funny shit....

And so sad on the flip side
spikesgirl58
Jun. 21st, 2017 12:08 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean.
rosegardenfae
Jun. 20th, 2017 07:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I need all the luck I can get on this one. It's unbelievable how many people are strung out on legal drugs. Docs just hand them out like candy. Grrr it just makes me so angry.

We're having a coolish week so I cooked, next week will be different.b
faunhaert
Jun. 20th, 2017 03:37 pm (UTC)
biochemistry is tricky.
We have some lorazipan
I cut it in half
and only use it when a huge stress thing is gonna happen.

rest of the time I won't touch them.

same thing with some painkillers
and when I had the last migraine, I didn't touch them
nausea does not get better and it doesn't help.
ice on my head did & popping my jaw,
but when my back is bad I only take it when I want to sleep.
i need to work on making my core adn back stronger
to help prevent pain.

the lsd available is rarely pure
causes jaw clenching -needs something like pot
to counter act it- and you Have ot have a trip guide
someone who will stop you from going into mind fugues.
that sort of person is hard to find.

now if you could find pharmacy grade and a great
therapist or a batch of art supplies.. grin

great food is the best option if you can afford it
your meals looked wonderful.


rosegardenfae
Jun. 20th, 2017 03:47 pm (UTC)
Re: biochemistry is tricky.
Wow I haven't heard anyone use the term "trip guides" in like forever. Feels like coming home.

Can't say I didn't know better about the damned drugs, I was just desperate for relief. I've turned down more prescription drugs offered to me by docs than most ppl do in a lifetime. You are wise in your use of the lorazepam.
faunhaert
Jun. 20th, 2017 04:07 pm (UTC)
better living thru biochemistry .

my girlfriend gave me some xanix
it was neccesary for dental work
1/4 of one of those helped.

found out
lorazipam is not equal to Xanix
not even close.

pot is the best thing for general anxiety
but I'm in the wrong state
but when the folks would try to do their best
at pushing my buttons and i didn't have ot go to see them
"so sorry I have a 'previous commistment'" and a puff
they were on the other side of the universe.
oh, the good old days.

no medical help.
they won't help people with drugs here
they'd rather people were alcoholics
once they are considered "addicted" then
they will "help" with the guilt crap.
fuck that shit.
the 12 step program has been proven a failure.
but this is not widely known or publicized.

some day we will be gone-
the hell with this purgatory.
the republicans deserve what they sow
not the poor people dependent on them

it's a nasty trip.

sigh


just_jenni
Jun. 20th, 2017 07:28 pm (UTC)
I hate Big Pharma! Having worked for a doctor I came to understand what a 'big business' medicine is becoming and how much influence the drug companies have on physicians! But don't let me go on a rant!

Good for you to try going off your meds. I'm surprised about Xanax though. I always thought that one was OK but like you pointed out, when the body ages sometimes the meds that used to work don't anymore and it's best if you don't have to take anything! *knocks on wood*
rosegardenfae
Jun. 20th, 2017 08:16 pm (UTC)
3 of my 4 daughters are nurses so i know more than i want to about the business that medicine has become. Doctors dont want to cure anyone, they just want to manage their illness and continue to get paid. Oops short rant.
Xanax was designed as a short term relief med. I've taken it for 20 years.
rosegardenfae
Jun. 20th, 2017 08:24 pm (UTC)
3 of my 4 daughters are nurses so i know more than i want to about the business that medicine has become. Doctors dont want to cure anyone, they just want to manage their illness and continue to get paid. Oops short rant.
Xanax was designed as a short term relief med. I've taken it for 20 years.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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