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Cry Baby

I cried all morning yesterday. The trigger was a cat with a broken leg. Not my cat, a feral one that I thought had been adopted by one of the neighbors and had even birthed a kitten over there. I don't know why I was so upset by this as the cat seemed not to be in pain. Maybe because I couldn't fix it? So, I just cried and as I wept, I mourned many things, the ending of yet another year, the damned election even, and with each tear another sad scenario reared up and with it another snotty shower of salty drops running down my face. Certainly with the state of the world today, there is no end of reasons for tears.

My daughter had no sympathy which precipitated more tears. Seems she thought I could just shut down the faucet, slap a smile on my face and move on. Which, of course, I finally did, just not quickly enough I guess.

Then I felt crummy most of the day. Emotional turmoil takes a huge physical toll. I don't like that part of me even though I know if I could, I'd be better for it. Hard  not to beat myself up for what feels like weakness or even self pity.

Later the husband and I drove around and checked out the trees, just the earliest ones turning so far, but all the more beautiful for being the first. Nature, the great healer, restored me, and I am grateful for that.

Hoping the salty showers washed me out and this week will be shiny.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
olbuksings
Oct. 19th, 2016 04:30 pm (UTC)
E, so sorry for the difficult day. Hope with all my heart that today is better. L...

Edited at 2016-10-19 04:30 pm (UTC)
rosegardenfae
Oct. 19th, 2016 11:32 pm (UTC)
Thanks, today is lovely in a myriad of ways.
olbuksings
Oct. 19th, 2016 11:51 pm (UTC)
That's so good to hear...
sally_farinacea
Oct. 21st, 2016 08:55 pm (UTC)
Dear one
Some how I missed this post.

Sounds like depression to me. Heading into winter, the falling leaves of melancholy, the onset of SAD. These are difficult times, as we've discussed. I hope you feel lighter soon. Mary Oliver and John O'Donohue are great companions.

Here's John reading a blessing for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rYnWCophIM




rosegardenfae
Oct. 21st, 2016 09:08 pm (UTC)
RE: Dear one
I'm no stranger to depression and could be that day it had got hold of me again. I am feeling better again as these things go,mit wss of short duretion.

Much appreciate the blessing and am totally enamored of Mary Oliver's poetry. Thanks ever so much.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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